Commander Erwin Smith
by Dana-Eliza
Summary: How Erwin experienced everything that has happened so far. His story and his POV. It will follow the storyline so far and will end at where the anime has ended now. Rated M for language and a bit of smut somewhere. Eventual Eruri, ErwinxLevi
1. Chapter 1

I'll try here to tell Erwin's story, but it will be how I see Erwin Smith. How I think he goes through certain moments. I'll follow the storyline and will end it where the anime ended, so there will be no spoilers.

Enjoy!

...

"_On that day mankind received a grim reminder: we lived in fear of the Titans and were disgraced to live in these cages we called walls."_

And Erwin remembered that day all too well. That morning they had started a new mission, one Erwin had thoroughly planned. He hadn't been commander for long. About a year after his predecessor fell in the hands of the titans. He had been chosen afterwards as the new leader, having showed how well he could lead a squad and how he had come up with many new strategies on fighting for new grounds to live on. Erwin had been honoured and made himself a promise that he would succeed. It would be him who led the Scouting Legion to victory.

But then everything changed. They had been on their way for a few hours and had come across some titans who had attacked their squad. As they fought a sudden loud bang reached them. It had almost sounded like an explosion. But it couldn't be. As Erwin's gaze had moved towards the area they had just left, he could see the steam rising up over the trees. At this point he knew that something was wrong and that his people were in danger. He felt responsible for all of them. He was there to protect them all and he had fought so hard for such a long time already. He had sacrificed so many men and women along the way just to keep the inhabitants safe.

Erwin didn't even give it a second thought and told everyone to retreat. Mike had fired the signal and as they rode home, he could feel his team being on edge as well. It was instincts for all of them. They had enough experience to know that something was off.

The second explosion didn't come much later after they had decided to turn around and go back. This only urged them on more, making their horses to go faster than they had ever run. Erwin's heart was racing, but his face was as blank as ever. His mind was not though. Many different scenes were running through his head. Several scenarios on what could have happened almost haunting him at this point. But what they got home to was something none of them had expected.

When they reached the wall again, they immediately noticed the big hole in the gate and all the titans that still moved through. Determined Erwin moved on, swiftly riding through the many titans and escaping so many death grips, but he just needed to check on the people. But it was already too late. Shiganshina was taken over. So many bodies and limbs lying scattered around. And all that Erwin hoped right now was that they hadn't gotten to Wall Maria yet. That she had survived.

But Wall Maria had been lost as well. Not many titans had reached this point yet and the Scouting Legion tried to fight them all off, but in the end it was all too late. They saved as many people as they could, riding them to safety. But still they did not return with their head held high. Not one time did they have something good to tell and this time it even felt worse. They had actually lost something and Erwin blamed himself. What if he had arranged the mission a day later? What if he had stayed back? What if they had never left? So many lives might've been saved.

And when the news came that it had been titans who had destroyed the walls, Erwin didn't know what to think. It didn't feel right. Titans weren't intelligent, seemed to move purely on instinct. But kicking in a gate or running through one was different. It meant these titans could think. That they could plan. Maybe even had been aware of the fact that the Scouting Legion would be gone. Erwin didn't really believe in luck. And the appearances hadn't fit the description of a normal titan. They had looked like skinless titans, only muscles shown.

Nothing seemed to add up, but Erwin just didn't have enough information. He hadn't been there and no one had even been prepared for such an attack. How could they? They had lived in peace for a hundred years. Not one time had Erwin thought that this would be the time something went wrong. But after that he had been on edge every time he planned a new mission. It had taken him months to even consider leaving Wall Rose, scared such an attack would happen again without them being there. But eventually they needed to go. They needed their territory back. People had already died in a futile attempt to claim Wall Rose back. It had not been Erwin's idea, but they had lived with too many and food was scarce. He understood why the decision had been made.

The first mission after Wall Maria fell had been short and they Legion had stayed very close to the wall, but nothing happened and everything went by smoothly. They had even lost fewer men than before. The mission after that had gone by the same and they had ridden further out, covering more ground. But it had taken a full year before Erwin could move out without his mind constantly being with Wall Rose. And still after that he had always anticipated another attack, because the enemy would not rest until all the walls would be destroyed, that was something Erwin was sure of.

So when the second attack came three years later after the first, Erwin was not surprised, but he wasn't ready either. His blue eyes widened a little as he turned to face the familiar exploding sound, almost able to hear the stone shatter underneath the pressure of the kick. The whole Legion had gone quiet, everyone only thinking 'not again.'

Feeling his right hand move beside him, Erwin glanced over at Levi and seeing the silvery eyes look back, he was ready to go back and face the enemy once more. Sometimes you just needed the support of your corporal, because at this point Erwin felt like he had lost again.

This time they did arrive in time. Wall Rose had not yet fallen and Trost was just reclaimed, although they still had no idea how they had managed that. The gate was blocked by a huge boulder and they had to go over the wall rather than through it. And here they only had to fight the few leftover titans that the Garrison had not managed to kill yet.

Erwin quickly learned how many soldiers the Garrison had lost to block the gate and that it had been a new recruit that had managed to do it. He was only a boy really. Fifteen years old and fresh out of the training camp.

But now Erwin had found out something new. The fact that a boy could change into a fifteen meter tall titan was enough of a clue for the other titans. He made the connection immediately. If he could, then more should be able to as well and the boy had been intelligent enough to focus on only killing titans and after that blocking the gate. It could perform things, just like the other titans were able to do. So they would be human as well which meant their own kind was attacking them, bringing them closer to death with every kick to the gate. They were here to exterminate them for whatever reason.

The next question was if they could actually trust this boy. The one who had closed the gate and possibly had saved them all from losing another wall. But what had been his interest? Of course it could be just to help mankind, but it could also be about not getting caught or having a way to get deeper into the Military. So many uncertainties.

Even after the long talks with the Garrison about what truly had happened and after that the discussions he had with the Legion, he still did not know what to truly think. Sitting in his office, he wrote down all the possibilities and outcomes that matched. Erwin liked writing things down. It cleared his mind a little, even if it wasn't ever truly empty.

He had no clue on how long he had been sitting in his office. At some point he remembered his stomach growling, but it had stopped after Erwin had ignored it long enough. He should've eaten, but he didn't like leaving his ideas alone when there was still so much to consider. How to get information out of the titan-shifter for example. Erwin didn't know the boy well enough, could barely remember his name even. Eren Jaeger. What was his story? He needed to talk to him as soon as possible. Of course today he couldn't do that anymore. No one would appreciate it when he stopped by after dark at this ungodly hour.

Still bended over his papers, Erwin never noticed someone coming in. That was until this person sat down right next to his hand, putting his own down on the papers Erwin had been focused on. At this point Erwin knew exactly who it was. There really was only one person who bothered him at this time.

Sitting back in his chair his blue eyes went up and locked eyes with the corporal. They both stayed silent for a while, waiting on the other to give up and say something. And it was Erwin that lost. Because Levi would never lose a staring game.

"I'll be done soon," Erwin plainly said and scooped up some of the papers to stack them neatly together on his desk. He just needed to figure out this last thing. Just on what he would need to know first of the boy. That was all and then he went to bed.

But Levi knew better than that. Somewhere it was annoying, but without Levi Erwin would probably never get any rest. Levi reached for the papers that Erwin was still holding and laid them down at the end of the desk behind him where Erwin could not reach. "You're done now. It's been a long day and you need to sleep."

Erwin was disgusted by the word sleep. He could not sleep. It was just a waste of time. A time where he could be thinking of new strategies. Maybe he would not miss anything this time. Maybe he would find out a way to not lose any of the soldiers of the Scouting Legion. "I won't sleep," he replied back.

Levi scowled down at Erwin and he knew the corporal felt the urge to punch him. Levi always had been rather violent if he thought it would work, but he knew better than to hit his superior. "You will sleep, even if I have to drag you to your bed. You are the commander and people count on you to be fit. So sleep now, you idiot."

And of course Erwin listened, because when it came to these things, he trusted Levi more than himself. Erwin knew exactly how to manage a mission and how to solve practical problems, but how to take care of himself was not something he really cared about. He neglected it quite often.

Moving through the now quiet streets, Levi walked him home, making sure he really got there, because apparently he looked like he was about to pass out. Erwin thought he was exaggerating, but still appreciated the gesture.

Glancing down at the corporal Erwin studied Levi's blank face. It was almost always completely void of any expression. Only his eyes sometimes let on a certain emotion or a tightening around his thin lips. But you needed to recognise those small signs, because otherwise Levi just seemed bored, cold and distant. He was hard to get through to anyway and it were the small signs that let Erwin know he meant something for the corporal, although he wasn't sure what position he held, but Erwin considered Levi a friend.

"When was the last time you smiled?" he casually asked, wanting to break the silence with a very odd subject.

The silvery orbs glanced up out of the corner of his eyes. Levi stayed silent for a moment longer, seeming to be studying Erwin's face as the commander had done before to him. "I could ask you the same question."

That was true and Erwin honestly could not answer it. When was the last time he had smiled? A very long time ago in a time that was much happier than this. He wondered if it would ever get better from this point on.

Characters © Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin

Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter I really like, so I hope you do too! Enjoy :)

...

Many days had gone by before Erwin could even propose if he could see Eren Jaeger. But in his mind he had been busy with the conversation for days. The things he wanted to ask, things he needed to know. Who was this kid? Where had he come from? That information was clear by now. A survivor of the Shiganshina nightmare. Someone who had seen death up close, much like the Scouting Legion. But on a personal level Erwin had no idea who he was. And that was the most important part. How did the kid feel about mankind? Titans?

But the Military had done its best to keep the Scouting Legion away from Eren. Erwin had not been surprised. They had no interest in the boy and probably just wanted to get rid of the titan-shifter and not even bother with his story. But now that Erwin had taken an interest, they had to as well. It was a constant struggle between the two and Erwin knew Nile was not very fond of him, but this was not about personal things. This was about sentencing a fifteen year old to death.

So Erwin had sent letter after letter to the government, asking for permission to see the boy and finally he had gotten a letter back, telling him it was okay. It had been a struggle, but Erwin needed this conversation. And now it had been all about planning this meeting.

He hadn't even asked Levi if he wanted to join. The corporal had insisted already that he was coming and that Erwin better include him in his plans. He didn't really have a choice and Erwin knew that Levi coming with him could be beneficial. It all depended on if Levi was interested in Eren or not. It could go two ways. Of course they both didn't really trust the boy, even if he had helped them take back Trost. He was still a titan-shifter and didn't have complete control from what they had heard. So either Levi wanted to make sure he could kill Eren before he even thought about shifting or Levi wanted to see what kind of benefit he could get out of this. Because a titan shifter could do a lot for them. It could help them win this war, if that was what you wanted to call it.

Sitting behind his desk, as usual, Erwin was still working on his strategy. On how to approach the boy and get the right answers. But there were too many variables. He had no idea how it was going to happen. If there would be guards, then he wouldn't be able to say everything, afraid the information would be spread towards the wrong crowd.

Someone knocked on the door, disturbing him in the midst of forming a plan. Yes, Erwin was still delusional enough to believe he would come up with a strategy. It was too late already for that. The meeting with Eren was in a few hours and coming up with something in this little time… Normally he would be able to, but this was just… How could he come up with a plan when he didn't fully understand what this all meant?

Without getting permission to enter, this person knowing he wouldn't get it anyway. Erwin wasn't planning on letting anyone in at this point and other soldiers would've known that this wasn't the right time. But this wasn't the case for the short corporal. It had been a miracle he had knocked in the first place. But it was all about feeling the right moment and right now Erwin was busy with something very important and the fact that he wasn't done yet was worrisome on its own.

"You should stop working already. We both know it's better to just see where the situation takes us. You can think on the spot, so stop stressing.' Levi was still standing in the doorway, arms crossed and gaze focused on Erwin.

The commander was still looking down at his desk, but hadn't been reading the papers anymore. He sighed softly as he lifted his head to stare back at Levi. He knew the corporal was right and he could come up with a plan on the spot. As soon as his doubts were gone about the situation, then he could decide on which side to take this. "And what should I be doing these last few hours then?" he questioned the corporal, because if Erwin wasn't working, then he had no idea what he was supposed to do. Erwin had never had any hobbies and if they were there, ultimately they would still revolve around work. Practising his sword skills, horseback riding, training with the troops to stay fit. He lived a sad existence.

Clacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth Levi let Erwin know it was a silly question, but didn't comment on it. Instead he walked over to his desk and leaned both hands on the rough top of the wooden surface. It was no longer smooth, the many scratches of words written on reports, notes, letters, damaging the wood in its process. It showed off how much work Erwin really did, much like his predecessors. Everyone who had once owned this office had been as much of a workaholic as Erwin was, but none were as committed to the job as he was. It was hard to say that Erwin loved his job. Levi expected that Erwin loved the responsibility and the trust people put him in, even if it did came with the downside that he was to blame in the end. The Scouting Legion was hated, but not its soldiers. Only Erwin, only the commander was attacked daily, and still he worked as hard as he could and showed how much he truly cared for the people.

"Well, there is something I want to discuss with you before we go," Levi spoke up and pushed himself of the desk again to take a seat in the chair opposite of Erwin. The commander now expected this would be about his meeting and he would eagerly talk about this. But the lazy stance Levi took on, leaning one leg over the armrest and the rest of his body against the other, showed that this was not going to be a very serious conversation. "Remember how we were able to catch two titans in Trost during the takeover?"

Of course Erwin knew that, but that wasn't the point to Levi asking. It had been a way to make this the subject of their conversation and Erwin wondered why. Had something gone wrong? No, Hanji was the one taking care for everything and if he trusted anyone with titans, it was her. Although she could be more careful sometimes… Still, he nodded at Levi, urging him on to continue.

Shifting a little in his seat, Levi brought a hand to his face and studied his nails for a moment. "You know I am not very fond of titans," he started and Erwin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. That was an understatement and it didn't need to be clarified. It was why Levi was such a good soldier. Of course he possessed some kind of talent as well that was very hard to ignore, but the fact that he wanted to eliminate as many titans as he could made him even stronger. He was referred to as humanity's strongest and it was a name fitting for him. "But I have been bothered several times by Hanji already to come help her out with the studies of her babies. I thought you had made it clear to her that I do not wish to help with her crazy experiments. I understand her job is important, but it is not mine."

Oh, it was about that… Indeed Erwin had a conversation with Hanji, telling her that the corporal did not want to help her out and had no new information for her, but it didn't seem to stick or maybe Hanji just didn't care and wanted Levi's help anyway. Or maybe it had been her way of making small talk, because she loved to talk about the titans. Erwin had been informed on their names, but had forgotten. It wasn't like he really cared about that anyway. Of course Erwin was also very aware of the fact that talking to Hanji about titans was a very annoying thing to do. This was actually a well-known fact and people tended to avoid her when she was on a talking spree again. "I will have another talk with her," he said with a sigh. "But I can't promise you anything. When she starts talking, we are all lost." Even he could not avoid her at those times.

Levi heaved a sigh, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling. An expected answer, but it still annoyed him. That woman should be locked up in his opinion or at least be kept away from social interactions. She could do that with those beloved titans of hers. "It's futile anyway," he waved off, flicking his hand in his direction. "That woman will never listen to that. She will just act like you never said anything and still talk to me about it. I should probably just find a better hiding place."

"What has your hiding place been so far?" Erwin asked curiously. Levi should be able to find something good. He was trained to do so and if the corporal truly wanted to get away, then he could. But of course he shouldn't underestimate Hanji's intelligence. Or Mike's nose. If she got him involved, then no one was safe.

Holding his hand up Levi flipped one finger up, starting to number his hiding places so far. Apparently there had been more. "Cafeteria, my house, your house, kitchen and since recently your office. She figures out everything and just waits for me outside until I come out. Sometimes even knock excessively until I am forced to open the door and let her in. She causes a lot of disruptions around town."

Erwin wasn't sure how to answer this. His house… So that was why he couldn't find his favourite shoes. Levi must've thrown them out when he couldn't clean them. Closing his eyes, Erwin's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Of course Levi could still easily break into homes without being noticed and without leaving any trace, but the fact that his home was the one under attack didn't sit well. What could the corporal even be doing there? It wasn't like he owned anything interesting…

"I used your bathtub," Levi suddenly spoke up, immediately knowing what was on Erwin's mind. "I don't have one at home and you don't use yours, so see it like I'm doing you a favour. You bought something quite expensive and someone is actually enjoying it. Or should I say was…" Levi ended irritated. "Ever since that woman found out, I haven't had a peaceful bath since. And I actually really enjoyed that fancy shit you bought for it."

His bathtub? Well, it was true that Erwin hadn't used it once and only bought it, because the salesman had held a nice little talk about it. He just didn't really have the time or didn't give himself the time was more like it. He could not waste time in the water while he could be in the office. Usually he just bathed here in the building and then got back to work. He only went home to sleep.

And then suddenly Erwin understood why they had been talking about nonsense like this. Of course Levi had made use of his bathtub, but would not have told him if it hadn't been necessary. So he looked over at the corporal and locked gazes with him for a moment. Both their faces were void of an expression and still they could read the other perfectly. "Thank you," he murmured and it was Levi who eventually broke the eye contact, glancing of to the side.

"You have about two hours left. I suggest you get some lunch, because you need to be fit once we meet with the boy. Can't have your brain failing on us at that point. I will pick you up in about an hour and then we'll make our way to the underground dungeon. I'm sure they will feel the need to give us some kind of lecture on how to behave around titan-boy. As if we're going to provoke him or something," Levi said in a monotone. Pushing himself out of the chair Levi was ready to go again. He had done his deed here and he needed to get ready as well. Raising a hand and waving at Erwin behind him he walked to the door and left. But not before saying, "and you're welcome."

Erwin could only feel very grateful after that. He didn't mind it that Levi had practically ordered him around, because he had needed it. The corporal had emptied his mind and had made sure Erwin had not been thinking about Eren anymore. It had worked perfectly. He felt much more relaxed and was actually ready for his meeting with Eren.

It almost made him smile, almost.


End file.
